Thursday, June 23, 2011

Autism and the things people say

I don't think you have to be a parent of a special needs child to know that people say some really stupid (for lack of a better word here) things.  There are far to many people missing the filter between their brain and their mouth.  I will admit that I am a very outspoken and opinionated person, but, I do not speak out of turn on topics that I have not well researched.  I also do not set out to push my opinions on someone or give advice where advice is not good or warranted.  So what brings this on?  Let me first say that I have no expectation for my friends or even my family to not have questions about my son and to completely understand autism.  Heck, this has been our life for a year now and I am still trying to understand autism.  With that being said, it is still amazing some of the conversations that my FRIENDS or acquaintances have tried to have with me regarding my son. 

Here we go:

1.  Have you thought about getting a divorce?  You know that you still love each other but just a divorce on paper?  Maybe this way you will get some financial assistance since you will be a single mom.
2. Autism?  That is like rain man right?
3. How do you think he got autism?  You didn't do anything different that I did when you were pregnant.
4.  Don't get your kid vaccinated!  Amish people don't have autism and it is because they don't vaccinate. (I know vaccinations are a hot topic in the autism community - I am simply including this because of the way it was said)
5. Coming from a parent of a typically developing child, "Here, let me show you how to get him to calm down.  I think you are just babying him."  HAHAHA!! Since I knew how this would turn out I decided what the me how to handle my kid.  Let me tell you how well that went!

The list goes on but I think you get my point.    In the beginning I would let these comments or even stares ruin my whole day. Then I realized, I am lucky!  I am blessed with this amazing little man that smiles, laughs, and could care less what people understand or do not understand about him.  We all need to take lesson from that!

This is my daugther feeding my son, her older brother, a Popsicle.  She is 19 months younger than him and surpassed him in some developmental areas.  He is learning from her though which is great!  I am sharing this photo in this particular blog because these are the moments that I live for.  All the stares, judgements and off the wall comments and questions do NOT matter....

You have a bug on your face....

Rewind 20 Years... I walk into my best friends kitchen and her mother (who I still love dearly) looks at me and says, "You have a bug on your face."   It is not a bug!  It is a mole! This is when I first remember having and hating my little mole.  Lucky for me, by high school, my little mole became "the in thing."  Models, singers, and actresses would draw my same mole on their faces with a make-up pencil!  I thought I was awesome because mine was 100% real!  No make-up required!  Now in my thirties, I usually do not even notice it.  Except that it would be my identifying mark if anything happened to me. (LOL)  Q:  Why am I blogging about this? A: Every day that I looked in the mirror for 20+ years my mole has been there.  I hated it, loved it, and was indifferent to it.  Today, I had to have my mole removed.  While it is just a mole, it was a part of my face and one of my first memories of meeting my best friends mother.  Sad to see my little mole go!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Very First Blog Post!

I have been thinking about starting a blog for quite sometime now. I keep putting it off becuase while I have a lot to say, my college degree is certainly not in writing or EDITING for that matter! I have ultimately decided that after the year my family has had a blog would be the perfect way to unlease and share our story, maybe even touch someone along the way. If you chose to follow me, don't judge my writing. LOL!